Iron & Altar

It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain. - John 15:16a

The Jerusalem Council's letter names the problem directly: some went out without any mandate from us and disturbed your peace. The council does not minimize the disruption. It names it, addresses it, and sends two men - Judas and Silas - to carry the remedy in their persons alongside the written word. The community is delighted. Not just relieved. Delighted.

Brother, it was not you who chose me. Sit with that sentence. The anxiety that drives a man to prove his faith, to produce enough, to be certain he is on the right side of the choosing - Jesus addresses it here directly and from underneath. The initiative was never yours. He chose you. He appointed you. The fruit you bear that remains is the fruit of his appointment, not your performance.

The psalmist wakes the dawn with a steadfast heart - does not wait for favorable conditions, does not wait for the anxiety to resolve. The song precedes the light. That is the posture available to you this Friday: steadfast before the day shows its hand, singing before you know how it turns out. And the command underneath all the other commands is still the same one it was at the beginning: love one another. Not manage one another, not evaluate one another. Love.

Name one person you are with regularly whom you manage or evaluate more than you love - a colleague, a child, a parishioner. This Friday, offer them something that costs you: your time without agenda, your presence without assessment, your sacrifice in the specific form they need it rather than the form convenient to you. That is the laying down. And carry it to [name]: pray that the one who chose you would make himself known to him in the same way.

Lord, you chose me. I did not choose you first. Let that be the thing that steadies me when the anxiety about whether I am doing enough returns. My heart is steadfast not because the circumstances are good but because the choosing is yours. Help me love the people in my life rather than managing them. Alleluia. Amen.