Hearth & Altar

Peter is doing the math on forgiveness. Seven times seems generous - surely that covers it. Jesus says seventy-seven times, which is not just a higher number. It is a different direction entirely: stop counting.

Then he tells the story of the servant who had an enormous debt canceled. Everything he owed, his whole life on the line - forgiven. He walked out of that room and immediately found the man who owed him a small amount and grabbed him by the throat. Pay what you owe.

The wicked servant is not a monster. He is someone who received mercy and forgot he had received it. The forgetting is the whole problem.

Your family practices forgiveness, or it practices memory of wrongs. Those are the two options, and the one that comes more naturally is the second. What Psalm 78 calls the sin of Israel - they turned back, they forgot the works of the Lord - is what happens in ordinary households every week.

Tomorrow is the vigil of the Assumption. Tonight is a good night to practice the seventy-seven times.

• For our family, that we would be people who forgive from the heart rather than from obligation - the kind of forgiveness that flows from remembering what we ourselves have been forgiven, we pray to the Lord.
• For the children in our family, that they would grow up in a household where the words "I forgive you" and "I'm sorry" are said out loud and mean something, we pray to the Lord.
• For those in our family carrying a hurt that has not yet been forgiven or spoken - that tonight would be the night, we pray to the Lord.
• Under the Immaculate Heart of Mary, as we prepare for her feast this week, for her intercession for our family's peace, we pray to the Lord.

Tonight at dinner: name something from the past week - a small wrong, a misunderstanding, something left unresolved between people in the family. Don't make it dramatic. Just name it and say the words: I forgive you. Or: I'm sorry.

Then lay out what you'll bring for Mary's feast on Saturday - flowers, fresh fruit, herbs. If your parish offers a blessing, plan to go with something in hand. Tell your children: this is how we prepare for a feast.

The servant's problem was forgetting. He forgot, within minutes, what it felt like to have the whole debt canceled. The household that practices forgiveness out loud - with actual words, not just a general sense that things are fine - is the household that keeps the memory alive. Keep saying the words.