Eventide & Altar

God told Ezekiel that his wife would die and that he must not mourn her in the customary way. He must bind on his turban, put on his sandals, not cover his beard, not eat the bread of mourning. He must be a sign for the people - his contained grief a living parable of what was coming for them.

That evening his wife died, the text says. And the next morning he did as he had been commanded.

You have probably had losses that did not fit the customary form of mourning. The grief that others did not know how to receive, or that had to be carried silently because the moment required something else, or that was too large or too private for the available ritual. Ezekiel's sign-action is one of the strangest things God asks of any prophet - and its strangeness is also a kind of comfort. God knows what it looks like to grieve inwardly while the outside continues.

The young man went away sad. He had asked the right question, heard the real answer, and could not do what was required. He did not pretend. He went away sad. And Jesus, who loved him, let him go. The invitation remained. The love remained. He went away sad, which means he carried the question with him.

Across a long life, you may have gone away sad from more than one invitation - the thing you could not do at the time, the cost you could not yet afford. The question is whether you are still carrying it or have set it down somewhere.

The Joyful Mysteries - the yes said before the cost was fully known. Mary's yes, Elizabeth's yes, Simeon's blessing that included the sword. Pray them for those still sitting with what they could not do, for whom the invitation is still open.

• For those carrying grief in a form that doesn't fit the customary mourning - who groan inwardly without visible lament - that God would know what they are holding, we pray to the Lord.
• For those who went away sad from an invitation and are still carrying it, that the invitation would reach them again when they are closer to ready, we pray to the Lord.
• Under the Immaculate Heart of Mary, for all who are learning to hold the delight of their eyes with open hands, we pray to the Lord.

Think back to a moment you went away sad from something God was asking. Not as accusation - as honest memory. Are you still carrying the question? Name it. Then know that Jesus, who looked at the young man and loved him, is looking at you the same way.